“A Man Who Will Lead You Closer to God and is ALWAYS Worth the Wait”
This is a topic frequently mentioned or referenced, but I genuinely do not believe it is discussed to the degree it needs to be. And I mean “NEEDS TO BE!” It’s something so huge, and yet sometimes so misunderstood… being with the right man.
Now ladies, trust me when I say that we’ve all, at some point or another, going through the “I can change him” or “but he goes to church..” relationships. Maybe that’s what you’re going through right now. You know what? You’re only human, just like the rest of us. When you’re being surrounded daily by people and the media feeding you sinful advice in the form of something sweet we, as naturally sinful beings, will more often than not, go for the cookie over the carrot. But, now is your chance to stop where you are and really reflect on the type of guys you’re going after.
Please allow me to clarify, I don’t mean “type” as in, you can date a sk8r boy but not a jock… no, it’s not that at all. This is not an issue of talents and interests , but an evaluation of the heart, mind, and spirit.
LEADER OF THE HOME:
In 1 Corinthians 11:33 it says,
“But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.”
I want you to imagine yourself standing in the rain, your husband walks up to you and gives you a rain jacket that covers you, keeps you warm, takes care of you, and protects you. Meanwhile, he is also holding an umbrella over both of you. Jesus is the huge umbrella that he’s holding. The umbrella is making sure BOTH of you are warm, safe, and protected. By having to remain under the umbrella to get away from the rain, you both are closer to each other than you would have been without it. The man’s job in this scenario is not only to provide the jacket but also to hold the umbrella (Jesus) close and over both of you. The husband’s job is to be the leader of the household, his wife, and children, to spiritually bring them closer to Christ while providing for and nourishing them.
Now that we’ve outlined the general and simplified duties of your future husband, let’s get down to more specific things. If your husband is supposed to be the spiritual leader of you and your household, then wouldn’t it make sense that he should be a Christian? Yes, it does. Someone who doesn’t know Jesus cannot bring you closer to Him, and/or lead your family spiritually. Not to mention the fact that if you are to have children, he may want to raise them in a different way than you. That’s why in 2 Corinthians 6:14 we’re told,
“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or fellowship has light with darkness?”
We’re essentially being told not to be spiritually/morally unequal with your partner, and in Mark 3:24-25 we’re told why this is:
“If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. And if a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.”
A MAN WHO WON’T BRING YOU TO SIN:
If the male you are interested in has been trying to pressure you to sin, whether that’s getting drunk, having sex(or not quite), or maybe he’s asking for nude photos of you, that right there shows you should not be pursuing him. If your future husband is supposed to bring you closer to God, he shouldn’t be bringing you into sin, that is the exact opposite of what a relationship should be doing. Your man should not be weakening your faith, he should be helping to strengthen it. Now, the most important thing, he and you alike should be seeking God first. A relationship is never going to work out if you are half-heartedly seeking God, and fully investing yourself into your boyfriend. God MUST be first in your lives separately AND together. If you are not growing in your faith together, the relationship isn’t in God. However, your faith can’t be dependent on the relationship, you have to grow by personally as well.
HOW TO TELL IF THEY’RE SAVED, IF ONLY GOD KNOWS OUR HEARTS:
Now this is a question I think all of us have thought about at some point. This is where the “but he goes to church…” relationships come in. Going to church is a great thing, and I encourage finding the right one for you and being a part of it, but it is NOT the thing that makes you a Christian. Therefore, thinking that someone is saved, just because they go to church, is not the right approach.
It’s true that God is the only one that KNOWS our hearts (Psalm44:21), but the bible does give us ways to tell if someone is saved. For that, we ask ourselves this question,
“are they living a life that is glorifying God, seeking after Him, and showing His light in the world?”
This question, one to reflect on daily, is what should come to mind when considering a mate. For John 14:12 states
“Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I am going to the Father.”
Also, Matthew 7:15-20 it says, 15
“Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thorn bushes, or figs from thistles? So, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit. A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus you will recognize them by their fruits.”
The part of this verse we need to highlight is “Thus you will recognize them by their fruits.” They will live LIKE Christ, and they will bear the “fruit” of the spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). So if someone is proclaiming Christ with their mouth, but not living in a way that reflects that, then they are not living as the new creation God makes us.
Lastly, I want to encourage all of you to first, seek God. Seek Him and be completely content with Him. I’ve noticed a pattern that when girls search for a guy, it’s just a meaningless fling. It’s when you’re not searching, and when you’re completely content with God that He brings someone special into your life. Instead of stalking twitter and Instagram for a cute boy, or even scoping out the boys at church and youth group. I would ask you to just pray. Pray for your future husband, that he will have a heart after God. Also, pray that he will be brought into your life when God plans. God has a plan unimaginably greater for us than we could ever design for ourselves. So just pray, and give it to God. He WILL take care of the rest.